Students Explain How College Has Censored Them


While free speech is a constitutional right, many Americans do not feel it is properly protected at universities. The Onion asked several current college students how they’ve felt censored on campus, and this is what they said.

David Chumwath (Ohio State University, Class Of 2023)

David Chumwath (Ohio State University, Class Of 2023)

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“I have tons of opinions about race that people will only let me say for like 20 minutes each class.”

Mike Hardmore (Michigan State University, Class Of 2026)

Mike Hardmore (Michigan State University, Class Of 2026)

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“When I shared an uninformed opinion in class, this old guy at the front of the room said a bunch of facts and stuff that proved it wrong.”

Sarah Clemmons (Bard College, Class Of 2024)

Sarah Clemmons (Bard College, Class Of 2024)

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“Once I was attending an outdoor club meeting and a large eagle swooped down and grasped me with its talons. I kept screaming for help, but other students asked me to stop centering myself, which I guess was fair. Being dropped into the eagle’s nest and fed to her chicks wasn’t so bad.”

​Mike Greenfield (Auburn University, Class Of 2025)

​Mike Greenfield (Auburn University, Class Of 2025)

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“My statistics professor gave me an F because apparently you don’t have the right to express whatever numbers you want.”

Jill Kohler (Prager University, Class Of 2023)

Jill Kohler (Prager University, Class Of 2023)

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“I was all but kicked out of my school for saying I thought a woman should have control over her own reproductive system.”

Emery Perkins (Kansas State University, Class Of 2023)

Emery Perkins (Kansas State University, Class Of 2023)

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“When I was pledging Delta Chi, my big brother told me I wasn’t allowed to say any words with the letter ‘E’ for a week.”

Lauren Dawes (Columbia University, Class Of 2025)

Lauren Dawes (Columbia University, Class Of 2025)

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“For the most part, people are really respectful, but every morning Tucker Carlson comes through with a megaphone and yells at us about how oppressed we are.”

Nicole ​Beckett (​Purdue​ University, Class Of 2026​)

Nicole ​Beckett (​Purdue​ University, Class Of 2026​)

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“​I constantly have to self-censor, because I’m just terrified someone’s going to say the opposite thing.”

Jameson Kirby (College Of William and Mary, Class Of 2023)

Jameson Kirby (College Of William and Mary, Class Of 2023)

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“When I was a freshman, you could ask the professor for a big glass of milk, chug the whole thing, and go, ‘Ahhhh!’ Now you can’t make a single noise even if it’s refreshing.”

Mike Franklin (Brigham Young University, Class Of 2024)

Mike Franklin (Brigham Young University, Class Of 2024)

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“I couldn’t attend unless I was to stop admitting I am Black.”

Todd Simpkins (Vanderbilt University, Class Of 2024)

Todd Simpkins (Vanderbilt University, Class Of 2024)

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“I don’t feel comfortable derailing my astronomy lecture with a diatribe about how eugenics is sorely misunderstood.”

Janice Williams (Yale University, Class Of 2026)

Janice Williams (Yale University, Class Of 2026)

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“Harvard has blatantly and unapologetically censored all of my ideas by declining to grant me admission.”

Brian Christianson (University Of Connecticut, Class Of 2025)

Brian Christianson (University Of Connecticut, Class Of 2025)

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“At this woke school, it’s like there’s nothing I can spray paint on the door of the Africana Studies Institute without everyone getting mad at me.”

Cliff Miller (University Of California, Los Angeles, Class Of 2025)

Cliff Miller (University Of California, Los Angeles, Class Of 2025)

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“[Redacted].”

Henry Carney (University Of Alabama, Class Of 2026)

Henry Carney (University Of Alabama, Class Of 2026)

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“I don’t understand why they won’t let you burn a cross on a quad when the land isn’t being used to play Frisbee.”

Brett Roland (Yale University, Class Of 2023)

Brett Roland (Yale University, Class Of 2023)

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“The administration really clamps down on student-newspaper exposé​s​ when you use real faculty names for made-up pedophilia rings.”

Matthew Schultz (Bowling Green State University, Class Of 2024)

Matthew Schultz (Bowling Green State University, Class Of 2024)

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“I haven’t been invited to a single party since being prosecuted for violent crime.”

Matteo Williams (University Of Miami, Class Of 2024)

Matteo Williams (University Of Miami, Class Of 2024)

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“They had me sign a bunch of NDAs about the $100,000 check they gave me to play football here.”

Alden Daniels (Elmhurst University, Class Of 2023)

Alden Daniels (Elmhurst University, Class Of 2023)

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“I had a lot of outside-the-box thinking that I guess was too radical for my structural engineering professor. He felt like bridges needed to not collapse.”

Andrew Dagmire (Fordham University, Class Of 2023)

Andrew Dagmire (Fordham University, Class Of 2023)

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“The dean is trying to kick me out for setting the computer science building on fire, even though that was clearly a political statement opposing the war in Ukraine.”

Keagan Vergara (Wesleyan University, Class Of 2026)

Keagan Vergara (Wesleyan University, Class Of 2026)

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“I answered every question in my Philosophy 101 class before my instructor told me I should give the other students a chance to talk. She didn’t say I couldn’t talk too, but the intent was obvious.”

Anna Conlan (Vassar College, Class Of 2024)

Anna Conlan (Vassar College, Class Of 2024)

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“The administration refuses to add the New York Times op-ed piece I wrote about campus censorship to the curriculum.”

Christopher Young (Ohio State University, Class Of 2023)

Christopher Young (Ohio State University, Class Of 2023)

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“I was only allowed to wear blackface on campus once a year.”



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